Transitions

Great news - the blog is back.  However, in an effort to streamline my blogging, I'm transitioning over to a new blog.  Crazy dreams will be reported there, as well as other general life updates.  I hope you'll join me at Heeren's Nest!

Tailgate gone wrong

I went to meet Dan for tailgating and discovered that we were in lot S1.  When I got there, a cabin had been built at the entrance that you had to pass through to get into the lot, so I parked my car and walked up to the gate.  My dad was selling tickets, but I convinced him to let me in for free and give me a free beer.  Then he decided he didn't want to collect tickets anymore so he went with me into the lot.  When we were walking though, we ran into Matt's sisters and niece who were organizing the closet of the cabin.  They said they didn't want to tailgate so we kept going without them.  


Meanwhile I was getting texts and calls from Dan who couldn't find the cabin, so I told him we would try to come and find him.  As we were walking we ran into my high school friend, Kelly, who was with 6 of his younger (and fictional) siblings.  He had a set of younger triplet brothers who were all trying to tell me about their lives, but I suddenly realized I forgot to bring hamburger meat, so I left them to go to the old north Ottumwa Hy-Vee (which closed about 15 years ago).  


When I got there, I realized I needed to take off my wedding ring to grocery shop, so I put it in the garlic section, because all the cloves of garlic were being stored in individual ring boxes.  Once I had my groceries, I took them out to the car, where my mom was standing with her hands on her hips, looking angry.  I realized that I had left my ring in the store, so I ran back to the garlic section, suddenly terrified that someone took my ring home when they bought their garlic.  To my great relief, the box was still there, but when I opened it I realized that someone had taken out the garlic and left my ring behind.  In the process, they cut my diamond in half.  I ran out of the store in tears, wondering how I could get the ring back together without Matt noticing what had happened.  I spent the rest of the dream on the phone with Jared's trying to figure out if their replacement policy covered cut-in-half diamonds from a garlic case.

The dangerous people

I was getting ready to stay in a hotel for the night with my friend Shauna.  I started to leave the house when Matt said something funny to me that made me realize that Matt's hand was in danger of being cut off by a criminal.  I urged him not to leave the house, but he said he had things to do.  So I decided that I needed to take my cats with me and stay in the hotel, but that I would be safer staying with Emily instead of Shauna.

Once we got to the hotel, I told Emily that we needed to put the cats in the room and then go hide in the playground to watch out for Matt and make sure he was safe.  We never saw Matt, but after a couple of hours Emily asked me if we could take naps before dinner.  We went back to the hotel where I realized that we had left the hotel door open and the cats were loose somewhere inside the building.  I knew then that the dangerous people were staying in the hotel with us and that they would be on the lookout for my cats to use as bait.  I told Emily that she needed to take a nap in case a cat came back and I would go searching.

I quickly found Autumn sitting in the hallway by the pop machines.  I picked her up and told her to stay with Emily and take a nap.  I asked Autumn where Louie was but she wouldn't tell me.  I had to make a quick decision then of whether to save Louie first or Matt.  I was running through the halls when I found the staff of Special Olympics Iowa lined up at the registration desk.  I said hello to all of them and out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Dana's hand was visibly injured.  I pretended not to notice, just in case she was a part of the group of dangerous people, but I knew I was running out of time.

Luckily I was able to find Louie and trapped him into a corner in an upstairs hallway.  I brought him back to the room and barricaded the door with a chair, just as the dangerous people started to try and get inside.  Emily and I were safe and we had protected the cats, but we will never know what happened to Matt and his hand.

100 kittens and a puppy

I had decided that for my wedding favors I was going to give everyone their own tiny kitten in a bag, so I went to the pound and rescued 100 kittens and brought them home.  I knew that I was going to package them in little gift bags, so I put them all in their bags, put the bags in crates, and drove them home to my childhood house in Ottumwa to leave them in the study (which growing up I called the Barbie room, because that's where my Barbies lived).  I left to run some errands and it occurred to me that there wasn't enough room in the Barbie room for all those kittens, so I moved half of them into the screened in porch, feeling much better about my treatment of my crated, bagged kittens.

Then the vet called, reminding me that I needed food and litter for all of the kittens, and that I was going to have to pay to get all of them vaccinated before I gave them away.  Crap!  I hadn't thought of any of these things, and suddenly the kittens were costing me thousands of dollars.  So I got my supplies, and returned fully equipped to take care of my tribe of kittens.  I decided to bring them all to the porch so as not to mess up the other rooms, so I freed them from their crates and encouraged them to go upstairs.  That's when I realized that the kittens had turned hostile and had formed gangs within their individual crates.  They all started marching around in groups lashing out at each other.  It was then that I noticed that one of my kittens was actually a tiny golden retriever that the pound had given me my mistake.  The poor thing was outnumbered but had banded together to join his crate's gang in the fight.  I realized that my wedding was probably ruined, so I ran outside crying and left the kittens (and puppy) to work it out among themselves.

The Carnival (and Matt's a jerk)

Matt and I went to the presidential inauguration and when we got there, I realized there was another girl with us that I'd never seen before.  Matt told me that I was still his fiance, but this girl was his inauguration date so he would be talking to me as little as possible.  The girl went to take a shower in a nearby portapotty because we had been traveling a great distance.  While she was gone, I tried to get Matt to ditch her but he wouldn't do it.  I sat down and pouted, and when the Queen walked by I didn't realize I was supposed to stand up so she stopped the procession and glared at me.  Once she got to the stage and started speaking, the person next to me's cellphone started ringing loudly.  The Queen got very upset and stopped her speech midway through.

Matt was embarrassed so he left and went to the adjacent carnival.  I stayed to hear a little of the trivia game they were playing at inauguration, but then I chased after him and couldn't find him, but I ran into a random guy I knew.  He said that Matt had been building a really cool kite but he wouldn't show it to anyone.  I finally saw Matt carrying around a giant kite made out of Belgium waffles, but when I asked to see it he ran off.  I realized I was standing next to a crepe vendor, so I bought myself a cheese crepe.  Then I saw my friends Brian and Nicole in a field.  Brian was also making a kite, and Nicole wanted to play a spinning game with me.  She started to spin me as fast as she could and then flung me into a carnival stand.  I was embarrassed and in pain, so I decided to go get another crepe.  Just then, Matt showed up and yelled at me for eating two crepes.

I was mad, so I mad him go to the circus exhibit with me and our friend Lindsey.  We took our seats and then realized there was no circus, it was just a video tape of a circus.  Matt snuck off into the midway without me realizing it, and then I noticed Lindsey leaving too, so I ran into the midway, tackled them both, and woke up.

Fragments

This isn't technically a full dream but was too funny not to share.  When I wake up and remember a really long dream, I need a way to keep it pieced together so that I still remember it when I have time to write it all down.  Sometimes I call and leave myself voicemails, other times I write little notes about various parts of the dream.


I was just cleaning out my email drafts and found this little treasure that I never went back and completely logged.  This was from almost a year ago, so I definitely don't remember the dream, but it was so random that I had to share.  Please note - this was all one dream.


Took a trip to San Fran - ate at the My Way Cafe (this does not exist in real life)
Broken shoe
Katie McDonald's white dresses
Went to a Torch Run meeting
Matt playing outdoor basketball
Matt lost his son
Ran a 5k trying to find him
Went home and had new paint on house
Played bocce with Kati
Textile building
Crazy cat lady
Overnight party at Dan's house
Corey ate a lot of twizzlers
Flying Mango road trip
Drove a PT cruiser 


I have absolutely no idea what any of that means, but I really wish I remembered the rest!

The parking ticket

I was sitting in Matt's garage talking to Louie (my cat) about how it was time for him to go to sleep when I realized that Louie usually sleeps in the basement.  I went to the basement to see why he wasn't there and I discovered that Autumn (my other cat) had made friends with another impostor cat who was posing as Louie and had kicked Louie out of the house and into the garage.  I felt bad for Louie but I knew Matt wasn't going to let me have a third cat so I wrapped Louie in a blanket and snuck him downstairs with Autumn and Impostor Cat.

When I left Matt's house, I was pulled over for speeding and the officer that pulled me over found out that I had an unpaid parking ticket for $1376.  He told me that he would have to leave my car on the side of the road and take me immediately to jail.  I got to jail and checked in at the front desk where they took my duffel bag and showed me to my room.  I was a little upset because there was no TV, but they told me that I could watch TV in the community room during social hours, and they let me bring my Nook and my Droid.  I asked them how I was supposed to go shopping and they told me I could reserve a shuttle to the mall on my Droid and it would take me there whenever I wanted.

I got to the mall and realized that they hadn't offered me my one phone call, nor had they given me a chance to post bail.  I called my dad on my cell phone and asked him for $11,000 for bail, but he told me I would have to choose between bail or my wedding.  I was not happy, but I decided to get back on the shuttle and go back to jail.  I sat down on the ratty plaid sofa in the community room and started to watch soccer on tv when there was a knock on the door.  The jail manager told me that my dad was coming to pick me up, but that I had to leave all my Nike flip flops behind as a penalty.  So I said farewell to my flip flops and went outside to wait for my dad.

Jamaica

I went on a vacation to Jamaica with my dad, my former coworker David, his wife, and my cats. When we got there we decided to go to the beach, so we all put on our swimsuits and headed out.  I had accidentally brought a lap swimming suit instead of a regular suit and when we got to the beach, David's wife wanted to know why I hadn't brought a cuter swimming suit to wear.  I went back to the room to find something different to wear and when I got there, the maids were going through all of our bags looting our stuff.  I started yelling at the cats for not protecting our stuff, and I shooed the maids out of the room.  Then as I was looking for something else to wear I realized I had only brought two outfits for the trip and a whole bunch of hooded sweatshirts.

Then my phone rang and it was my coworkers Mike and Brent, telling me that they were on their way to Jamaica for a work convention with another coworker, Amy.  It turned out they were staying in the same hotel that we were, and when they got there, Mike had a meeting so Brent and Amy wanted to go to dinner with my dad and I.  When we got there, Brent decided that he wanted us to take him white water rafting the next day, so I told him where to meet us.  Brent and Amy never showed up though, so I took my cats to go find them.  We got in the car and started driving around West Des Moines near the corner of Mills Civic and 50th, but they were nowhere to be found.

The silver boxes

I was in my high school gymnasium with my dad when suddenly I realized that we were surrounded by tiny silver boxes that seemed to have some sort of electrical current running through them.  I knew at that moment that we were in grave danger because the boxes were going to explode, but my dad wouldn't listen to me.  We were the only people in the gym, so I decided I needed to go get reinforcements to talk my dad into leaving the gym.

As I ran down the hall, I had a feeling that the silver boxes were scattered throughout the school and I needed to find Matt to get him out of the building as well.  I went to work and started looking in each of the offices, but I couldn't find him.  Then my office phone rang and it was Matt.  He was trapped in a tower on the other side of the high school and the only way to get to him was to walk over a tightrope that connected the DMU campus to Ottumwa High School. He also told me that the people who had set up the small boxes knew that I was coming after them and they would be trying to deter me from crossing the rope.

I needed to figure out a way to get my dad out of the gym and rescue Matt, but I suddenly because suspicious that my dad was in cahoots with the people who set out the boxes, so I decided to go rescue Matt.  I started to walk over the tightrope with hundreds of people on the ground below me cheering, and then balls started flying through the air at me that I had to dodge and jump over.  I finally made it to Matt, we walked down the stairs, and outside.  I took him to Hilton Coliseum and told him to hide in the tunnel with me because we would be safe from the electric current as long as we stayed there.

Poor puppy

I was at my house with my dad and my childhood dog, Shamrock, on Christmas Day.  Shammie had to go outside, so my dad was going to take her for a walk.  He reached into the closet to get her leash and when he closed the door, we heard a big crack, and Shammie's leg was caught in the door.  Instead of opening it to let her out, my dad picked up the dog and started pulling on her, trying to get her leg out.  I ran over to let her out and we discovered that her leg was completely crushed and she couldn't walk on it.  I started crying, and Shammie went to lay down in the corner.  I was yelling at my dad about being irresponsible when I noticed Shammie running around the house - her leg had magically healed itself!

I decided that we should take her to Matt's house to see how the cats handled having a dog around.  (My logic was that if they were nice to a dog, they would be nice to a baby some day...naturally.)  We got to Matt's and Shammie was very excited to see the cats, but they just hissed at her and ran away.  We started talking to Matt about something, and I realized that I hadn't seen the cats or the dog in quite some time.  I ran all over the house looking for them, and I finally found them in a spare bedroom with the door closed.  When I walked in the room, I saw the cats laying on a blanket snickering at me.  I asked them what was so funny but they wouldn't tell me, they just kept laughing.  Finally I heard a small whimper and realized that they had pinned Shammie under a blanket and then laid down on the edges so that she couldn't get out!  The cats thought this was hilarious but I was angry so I took Shammie back to my house.

Marinara crisis

I woke up one morning and discovered that there were red stains all over my house.  I walked around to investigate and finally figured out that my mom had dumped a bottle of marinara sauce on my cats and then set them loose in my house.  I found her laying on my couch drinking a can of pop so I asked her if she realized she'd just trashed my house and she said "eh, it'll be fine."

Suddenly I realized it was my wedding day and I still hadn't picked up my dress from Schaffers.  As I was driving there to get it, I realized that I had actually never seen the dress, therefore it hadn't been altered.  I tried to figure out how we could scotch tape it so that it fit me, but when I got there it was a completely different dress in the wrong color because there had been an ordering mistake.  They tried to lace up the corset back but it was way too big and looked terrible.  I asked them to find me a different dress in stock and they found my correct dress, but in the wrong color and again several sizes too big.

I wasn't confident that I looked good, so I tried to get in touch with my bridesmaids so they could come look at it, but I couldn't find any of them.  I also couldn't get a hold of Matt, so I called our Best Man, John, and asked him to come take a look at the dress.  He drove all the way to the store only to tell me "I don't know, I guess you look alright."  That was no help whatsoever, so I decided I should probably go to the ceremony location and start setting up chairs.  As I once again tried to get in touch with my bridal party to have them help me, I realized I couldn't remember who all of my bridesmaids were.  I was confident that I had a bridesmaid coming in from out of town, but I couldn't think who that would be.  Suddenly I realized that Shauna had flown in from New York and that no one had gone to the airport to pick her up the day before.  Then I realized that we hadn't had a rehearsal or a dinner the night before either.  All of the sudden it occurred to me that it was only Thursday, so I took my ugly dress and returned to my marinara covered house.

Crazy co-workers

My co-worker Brent called me up and told me that he needed some help because he was going on a big date the next day.  He asked if I would come on the date with them to make sure that he didn't mess it up.  I said that I would, and then he said that he wanted me to coach him the day before so that he knew what to say, so I needed to play in a golf outing with him in Ottumwa.  I was getting ready to head to Ottumwa when I realized that my wedding was the next day so I had a few things to take care of.  By the time I got to Ottumwa, the golf outing was almost over, so Brent decided that he should just go to a bar in Des Moines while I gave him advice.  As soon as we got to the bar, he immediately got food poisoning and had to go home.  After I dropped him off at home, I went back to the bar where my family had arrived for the wedding and wanted to give me a fancy bridal shower.  I told them all that it would have to wait because I had to go to work.

When I got to work I could smell something funny and realized that there was a carbon monoxide leak in the building.  I went downstairs to investigate and found that all the buildings had been evacuated except for mine because the alarm didn't go off.  I went back upstairs to tell everyone to leave, but no supervisors were at work so no one would leave the building.  I went to my co-worker Anna's desk and started asking her lots of questions but she was being very vague and wouldn't answer them.  I couldn't figure out what was going on until another co-worker, Duane, walked by and told me that Anna had quit but she didn't want me to know.  I convinced Anna to leave the building and walk around with me.  During the walk, I started asking her lots of specific questions about the future.  Finally I cracked her and she said "Fine, I didn't want you to know, but I got a new job."  I asked when she was leaving and she said "I'm not telling, and I won't tell you where I'm going either."  She got in her car and drove away.

John goes to Target

Matt and I were on our way to Target to register for our wedding when he suddenly realized that he had to go out of town on business.  He called John, his best man, to go to Target with me in his place.  He gave John very strict instructions to pretend to be Matt though, because Target will arrest you if you register with a fake groom and he didn't want to bail us out of jail.  When I met John in the Target parking lot, I gave him some quick instructions about how to act like Matt and we went inside.  We were assigned a registry consultant to walk around the store with us and use the scanner gun because they wouldn't allow us to do it ourselves.  John panicked and started saying things like "you and Matt need this" and "Matt would really like this."  I kept kicking him to get him to stop but he was clueless.  Finally he took me over to the section of fringed purses and wanted me to pick on out for Matt.  The registry consultant started to question this, so I ran out of the store leaving John to defend himself.

I ran all the way to my brand new office which was in an architecture firm.  I had never seen it before so I was very excited, but when I got there I realized they had just put up a desk in the storage closet and I had no window.  I saw that there was another empty office in the corner that did have a window, so I decided to army crawl to the corner.  When I got in there, someone had taken a bunch of my personal items from my house and scattered them all over the floor.  I found a dried rose that Matt had given me last year and it was crushed and laying in the trash.  This made me very angry so I yelled out that I was quitting and walked out the door.

Allison's hideaway

A bunch of my friends were at dinner and my friend Allison started telling us about this new apartment she was renting in Ottumwa.  We all wanted to see it, so we decided to take a speedboat down the Des Moines River to see it.  When we got to Ottumwa, she pointed to the water purification plant and told us that they had converted the entire building into apartments/lofts.  The only way to get in was from the river, so we docked the boat and went inside.  When we got in there, she told us that each tenant got one floor of the building, but she had the top three that were all one unit.  As we walked around inside, I realized that there were no doors or walls, just futons and couches laying around everywhere.  There also weren't any kitchens or bathrooms, just living spaces.  The majority of the tenants were men in their 40's who were all passed out on their futons in the middle of the afternoon. 

We walked up a flight of stairs and Allison informed us that to get to her penthouse, you had to climb a series of ladders.  I suddenly realized that I was carrying my cat, Autumn, and that I was going to have to carry her up all these ladders.  I put her in the pocket of my hooded sweatshirt and started to climb.  We ended up climbing up one very long ladder, down the hall to a short ladder, around the corner where we had to climb DOWN a ladder to get to a secret floor of the building.  This room was Allison's living room.  She had an old couch and a huge TV.  I wanted to stay there but she told us that we had to see her room on the next floor.  We started climbing up the last ladder which was in a very narrow passageway.  Because of the cat in my pocket I almost didn't fit and I got a little stuck and had to force myself through.  I was very worried about Autumn, but when we got into the room she started running around and was fine. 

In Allison's room she had a library full of every book or magazine we could ever want, a variety of movies to watch, and a stockpile of snacks.  Katie decided that she was just going to live in the room, but I knew that eventually I had to get home to feed my other cat, Louie.  I started to panic because I wasn't sure I could get back down all those ladders while holding Autumn.  I mentioned this to Allison, hoping that she knew of an easier exit, but she informed me that people weren't intended to get back out once they entered.  I tried to pick Autumn up so we could sneak down the ladder but she wouldn't come back to me.  So I sat in the corner and cried.

The longest dream ever

I was hanging out with my aunt and uncle and I went out to run some errands.  I decided to walk past the boat store and impulsively decided to buy a speed boat.  I proudly drove the boat home through the local canals and when I pulled up at my dad's house, my uncle informed me that I didn't know how to drive a boat or tie it up at the dock.  I kind of panicked, but decided I would just drive it back to the boat store and have them teach me.  Luckily, I found a water conveyor belt that would guide me back to the boat store. 

Once I got there, three elderly women in ball gowns helped me tie my boat up to the dock, and a large British man explained how to drive the boat.  Feeling confident, I untied my boat and headed home.  Suddenly I realized that Matt was going to be very angry that I bought this boat, and I probably shouldn't be making such large purchases without telling him.  And then I remembered that last week I had bought a jet ski at a garage sale and I still hadn't told him.  We have nowhere to store either of these purchases, so I decided that I would just have to keep my house as a nautical storage center after we got married.

I went home to the house that I shared with my co-worker Anna.  She was busy so I went out to eat at When Pigs Fly, my favorite BBQ place.  I was sitting in the back room when the waiter informed me that my friend David was eating in the other room with his family, and that his wife really needed some plastic baskets that they deliver the sandwiches in.  I took her a stack and she was so happy that she told me to join them for dinner.  David had just gotten a digital camera that instantly projected his pictures onto paper coasters (like they have at bars) so he kept taking pictures of all of us and giving us the coasters.  Finally dinner was over, so I headed home, but David chased me through the parking lot because I forgot my coaster.

When I got home, Anna wanted me to see this great new game that she had discovered.  She told me it was a video game called Cut the Dog, and you had to find the dog smoking a cigarette and grab it out of the dog's mouth.  But if there was no cigarette, you had to cut the dog's hair.  I tried it a few times on her iPod, but then she informed me she was taking it up a notch.  She opened the oven and had a bunch of puppies in there with cigarettes that she would grab out of their mouths.  I thought that was the most disturbing thing I'd ever seen, so I went downstairs.

I entered the living room and found my friend Dan hanging out with Fred Hoiberg.  Fred was getting ready to leave, but he pulled out his backpack and asked us if we would like to buy a Tim Floyd jersey from him for $90 each.  We both wanted one, so I tried to log in to Matt's corporate bank account to pay for them, but I couldn't remember the password.  I called Matt and he refused to give it to me, so I got very angry because Fred was about to leave.  I asked him to wait a moment and I walked outside through the wading pool so I could talk to Matt without Fred hearing me.  I told him how important this was and Matt burst into tears because he couldn't remember the password and he'd been trying to keep anyone from finding out so he didn't get fired.  I was angry because I realized I'd have to pay for the jersey myself, so I hung up and went into my childhood bedroom in Ottumwa.  I hid down there pouting until I heard my co-worker Heather saying goodbye to Fred, so I knew I was running out of time.  Before I went upstairs, I read my horoscope in a magazine which told me to pick two of my friend's spouses to be very mean to today and pick another one to do something nice for.  I was just deciding who would fit into each category when I woke up.

Evergreens

I had been hired by a church to be their sanctuary decorator for weddings, funerals, etc.  My primary responsibilities were to arrange for decorations on the altar and the end of the pews.  We had an event coming during the weekend that was very important to the church, so they informed me that if I didn't do exactly what I wanted, they would not only fire me but I would also never be allowed back into the church.  However, they didn't tell me what the event was or what the people wanted for decorations, so I was on my own.  I decided to use evergreens on the ends of the pews, but I didn't have any way to affix them to the pews, so I was trying to tie them up with string.  They were all crooked and uneven and the event was about to start, so I knew that I had failed.  I left the church and got on my yacht were I was instantly in the middle of the ocean by myself.

*This is really only half of the dream.  I have absolutely no recollection of what happened after I got on the boat.

Baby Chloe

Matt and I had just had a baby name Chloe, and we wanted to show her off so we took her to my church in Ottumwa.  We walked around showing her to people, but then would sit her in a chair while we talked to people and she kept sliding off so I decided I should just hold her.  Then another girl who was in my youth group walked in with an even younger baby boy, trying to steal my thunder.  I walked over to compare babies and mine was very cute while hers was awkward looking and ugly.

Satisfied, we left Ottumwa and headed to my friends Kristi and Nate's house.  I had brought my cats over and while they ran around, I decided to give Chloe a bottle.  My friend Kati was there, and she took the bottle away from Chloe while it was still half full and said she was taking it to Target.  I asked her not to take away the bottle while Chloe was still using it, but she said she needed it so that she could buy the right bottles to have on hand when I visited her house.  I told her that I would bring my own bottles and that I was more concerned about Chloe eating right now than Kati preparing for my next visit, but she didn't want to hear that and she left. 

Chloe was screaming because she was hungry, and I asked Kristi and Nate if they could help me and they said they agreed with Kati that I shouldn't be concerned about feeding my baby.  I decided I needed to go home, so I set Chloe on the chair to chase after my cats and take them home.

The bus depot

I was driving back from camp with my friend Cristan when she became very, very angry at me. I couldn't figure out what I had done so we stopped at the bus depot where we ran into a girl we went to high school with. She told me that I had offended Cristan with my swervy driving and I should probably leave her alone for awhile.

Luckily I looked across the bus depot and my cousin Beth was sitting there in a business suit. I said hello to her and she told me I needed to come with her to the conference call she was about to sit in on. I was a little self conscious because I was under dressed, but I walked into the bus depot's conference room to join the meeting. The room was full of men in suits who were intensely discussing something. One of them stopped the meeting and asked where my padfolio was. I told him that I didn't have one because I didn't know about the meeting. Beth told me that wasn't good enough and asked me to leave immediately.

So I wandered around the depot for awhile, couldn't find Cristan, and returned to my swervy driving.

Wedding fiasco

I was in the basement of my church in Ottumwa right before the wedding and I couldn't find my dad anywhere. Finally someone told me that he had gone to do play by play for the SIU basketball game for Illinois and wouldn't be here. Suddenly he showed up though, and we decided we should start.

We headed to the Marriott and entered this strange open air lobby with lots of windows where a pre-wedding cocktail hour was going on. Our DJ was trying to give people instructions about what to do and where to go, but the mics weren't loud enough and they were very staticy. Somehow we managed to usher people into a ballroom where the ceremony was supposed to take place. The ballroom was divided in half by a really ugly curtain serving as a make shift divider, where the other half of the room was apparently to be used for the reception.

We got everyone seated and I realized that we had forgotten to do a rehearsal of the ceremony, so I was the only one who knew what was going on. I told Matt to head up to the front with his groomsmen. He looked very nervous but did as I instructed. Then my dad started trying to walk me down the aisle, and I informed him that it wasn't time yet because the bridesmaids needed to go first. He walked halfway down the aisle and yelled "Hold on everyone, we need to figure a few things out back here." And so we all had a pow wow in the back, I informed him what was happening, and we started over.

We got to the front of the ballroom and I realized that we had no minister to perform the ceremony so we had to do it ourselves. Matt and I muttered a few things about love and being married, and then Matt told everyone to go eat. We all walked around the curtain and Matt looked at me and asked "Are we even really married after that?" I had no idea so we decided to just start dancing to the DJ's quiet, staticy music for the rest of the night.

Disney world

I was planning a golf outing in Ottumwa for my friends and family, and the night before I realized that I had forgotten to order a lawn chair and a 5 iron. I knew it was too late to get either from the golf course, so I called my friend Brent and asked if he had any. He said that he would deliver both of them in the morning as long as he got to golf for free and I had to golf using only the 5 iron (which was right handed). I agreed, hung up the phone, and immediately started crying to Matt because I was so scared to golf with the 5 iron. Matt convinced me that I should probably skip the golf outing because it would be safer for me.

The next morning, I was just waking up and my friend Mike called and told me that Disney World had built a new second story facility about the Magic Kingdom and he wanted me to go with him to a meeting there. I was really excited and told Matt about it, and he informed me that his department was having a staff retreat there that day, but that I shouldn't talk to him because he would be very busy. Mike and I got to the new Disney World and it was basically a Disney themed flea market...just various booths of vendors selling Disney products everywhere. Then someone told me that if I went upstairs there was a really nice beach. Mike and I walked over there and I found a conference room underneath the stairs. Inside I found Matt and all of his co-workers.

I found my friend John who told me he wanted to play a game with me. He said he was going to flip a coin, and as soon as the coin hit the ground, I had to ask him 100 questions in a row as fast as I could without laughing. I launched into a stream of "How are you? What are you doing? Where did you learn this game? What Disney rides are you going to ride? What color shoes are you wearing?"...you get the idea. Meanwhile John was making funny faces at me and dancing around like a monkey. I eventually started laughing and he told me I lost the game and couldn't talk to him anymore.

I walked over to Matt who was sitting in a corner by himself with his laptop. He looked up and told me I could only talk to him if I had a bottle of shampoo in my backpack for him. I reached in the backpack and realized that I had accidentally brought a bottle of moisturizer instead of shampoo. Matt said that wasn't an acceptable substitute and that I needed to leave.

Then I noticed that my friend Katie, whose husband works with Matt, was also in the room watching Disney movies on DVD in the corner. I asked her if she wanted to go downstairs and ride Splash Mountain with me and she said she would, but she needed to find a portable DVD player to take with us so we could watch Disney movies while we walked around. This idea really upset me so I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall to try and think of a way to ditch Katie and go to Splash Mountain by myself...but then I woke up.