Crazy co-workers

My co-worker Brent called me up and told me that he needed some help because he was going on a big date the next day.  He asked if I would come on the date with them to make sure that he didn't mess it up.  I said that I would, and then he said that he wanted me to coach him the day before so that he knew what to say, so I needed to play in a golf outing with him in Ottumwa.  I was getting ready to head to Ottumwa when I realized that my wedding was the next day so I had a few things to take care of.  By the time I got to Ottumwa, the golf outing was almost over, so Brent decided that he should just go to a bar in Des Moines while I gave him advice.  As soon as we got to the bar, he immediately got food poisoning and had to go home.  After I dropped him off at home, I went back to the bar where my family had arrived for the wedding and wanted to give me a fancy bridal shower.  I told them all that it would have to wait because I had to go to work.

When I got to work I could smell something funny and realized that there was a carbon monoxide leak in the building.  I went downstairs to investigate and found that all the buildings had been evacuated except for mine because the alarm didn't go off.  I went back upstairs to tell everyone to leave, but no supervisors were at work so no one would leave the building.  I went to my co-worker Anna's desk and started asking her lots of questions but she was being very vague and wouldn't answer them.  I couldn't figure out what was going on until another co-worker, Duane, walked by and told me that Anna had quit but she didn't want me to know.  I convinced Anna to leave the building and walk around with me.  During the walk, I started asking her lots of specific questions about the future.  Finally I cracked her and she said "Fine, I didn't want you to know, but I got a new job."  I asked when she was leaving and she said "I'm not telling, and I won't tell you where I'm going either."  She got in her car and drove away.

John goes to Target

Matt and I were on our way to Target to register for our wedding when he suddenly realized that he had to go out of town on business.  He called John, his best man, to go to Target with me in his place.  He gave John very strict instructions to pretend to be Matt though, because Target will arrest you if you register with a fake groom and he didn't want to bail us out of jail.  When I met John in the Target parking lot, I gave him some quick instructions about how to act like Matt and we went inside.  We were assigned a registry consultant to walk around the store with us and use the scanner gun because they wouldn't allow us to do it ourselves.  John panicked and started saying things like "you and Matt need this" and "Matt would really like this."  I kept kicking him to get him to stop but he was clueless.  Finally he took me over to the section of fringed purses and wanted me to pick on out for Matt.  The registry consultant started to question this, so I ran out of the store leaving John to defend himself.

I ran all the way to my brand new office which was in an architecture firm.  I had never seen it before so I was very excited, but when I got there I realized they had just put up a desk in the storage closet and I had no window.  I saw that there was another empty office in the corner that did have a window, so I decided to army crawl to the corner.  When I got in there, someone had taken a bunch of my personal items from my house and scattered them all over the floor.  I found a dried rose that Matt had given me last year and it was crushed and laying in the trash.  This made me very angry so I yelled out that I was quitting and walked out the door.

Allison's hideaway

A bunch of my friends were at dinner and my friend Allison started telling us about this new apartment she was renting in Ottumwa.  We all wanted to see it, so we decided to take a speedboat down the Des Moines River to see it.  When we got to Ottumwa, she pointed to the water purification plant and told us that they had converted the entire building into apartments/lofts.  The only way to get in was from the river, so we docked the boat and went inside.  When we got in there, she told us that each tenant got one floor of the building, but she had the top three that were all one unit.  As we walked around inside, I realized that there were no doors or walls, just futons and couches laying around everywhere.  There also weren't any kitchens or bathrooms, just living spaces.  The majority of the tenants were men in their 40's who were all passed out on their futons in the middle of the afternoon. 

We walked up a flight of stairs and Allison informed us that to get to her penthouse, you had to climb a series of ladders.  I suddenly realized that I was carrying my cat, Autumn, and that I was going to have to carry her up all these ladders.  I put her in the pocket of my hooded sweatshirt and started to climb.  We ended up climbing up one very long ladder, down the hall to a short ladder, around the corner where we had to climb DOWN a ladder to get to a secret floor of the building.  This room was Allison's living room.  She had an old couch and a huge TV.  I wanted to stay there but she told us that we had to see her room on the next floor.  We started climbing up the last ladder which was in a very narrow passageway.  Because of the cat in my pocket I almost didn't fit and I got a little stuck and had to force myself through.  I was very worried about Autumn, but when we got into the room she started running around and was fine. 

In Allison's room she had a library full of every book or magazine we could ever want, a variety of movies to watch, and a stockpile of snacks.  Katie decided that she was just going to live in the room, but I knew that eventually I had to get home to feed my other cat, Louie.  I started to panic because I wasn't sure I could get back down all those ladders while holding Autumn.  I mentioned this to Allison, hoping that she knew of an easier exit, but she informed me that people weren't intended to get back out once they entered.  I tried to pick Autumn up so we could sneak down the ladder but she wouldn't come back to me.  So I sat in the corner and cried.