Transitions

Great news - the blog is back.  However, in an effort to streamline my blogging, I'm transitioning over to a new blog.  Crazy dreams will be reported there, as well as other general life updates.  I hope you'll join me at Heeren's Nest!

Tailgate gone wrong

I went to meet Dan for tailgating and discovered that we were in lot S1.  When I got there, a cabin had been built at the entrance that you had to pass through to get into the lot, so I parked my car and walked up to the gate.  My dad was selling tickets, but I convinced him to let me in for free and give me a free beer.  Then he decided he didn't want to collect tickets anymore so he went with me into the lot.  When we were walking though, we ran into Matt's sisters and niece who were organizing the closet of the cabin.  They said they didn't want to tailgate so we kept going without them.  


Meanwhile I was getting texts and calls from Dan who couldn't find the cabin, so I told him we would try to come and find him.  As we were walking we ran into my high school friend, Kelly, who was with 6 of his younger (and fictional) siblings.  He had a set of younger triplet brothers who were all trying to tell me about their lives, but I suddenly realized I forgot to bring hamburger meat, so I left them to go to the old north Ottumwa Hy-Vee (which closed about 15 years ago).  


When I got there, I realized I needed to take off my wedding ring to grocery shop, so I put it in the garlic section, because all the cloves of garlic were being stored in individual ring boxes.  Once I had my groceries, I took them out to the car, where my mom was standing with her hands on her hips, looking angry.  I realized that I had left my ring in the store, so I ran back to the garlic section, suddenly terrified that someone took my ring home when they bought their garlic.  To my great relief, the box was still there, but when I opened it I realized that someone had taken out the garlic and left my ring behind.  In the process, they cut my diamond in half.  I ran out of the store in tears, wondering how I could get the ring back together without Matt noticing what had happened.  I spent the rest of the dream on the phone with Jared's trying to figure out if their replacement policy covered cut-in-half diamonds from a garlic case.

The dangerous people

I was getting ready to stay in a hotel for the night with my friend Shauna.  I started to leave the house when Matt said something funny to me that made me realize that Matt's hand was in danger of being cut off by a criminal.  I urged him not to leave the house, but he said he had things to do.  So I decided that I needed to take my cats with me and stay in the hotel, but that I would be safer staying with Emily instead of Shauna.

Once we got to the hotel, I told Emily that we needed to put the cats in the room and then go hide in the playground to watch out for Matt and make sure he was safe.  We never saw Matt, but after a couple of hours Emily asked me if we could take naps before dinner.  We went back to the hotel where I realized that we had left the hotel door open and the cats were loose somewhere inside the building.  I knew then that the dangerous people were staying in the hotel with us and that they would be on the lookout for my cats to use as bait.  I told Emily that she needed to take a nap in case a cat came back and I would go searching.

I quickly found Autumn sitting in the hallway by the pop machines.  I picked her up and told her to stay with Emily and take a nap.  I asked Autumn where Louie was but she wouldn't tell me.  I had to make a quick decision then of whether to save Louie first or Matt.  I was running through the halls when I found the staff of Special Olympics Iowa lined up at the registration desk.  I said hello to all of them and out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Dana's hand was visibly injured.  I pretended not to notice, just in case she was a part of the group of dangerous people, but I knew I was running out of time.

Luckily I was able to find Louie and trapped him into a corner in an upstairs hallway.  I brought him back to the room and barricaded the door with a chair, just as the dangerous people started to try and get inside.  Emily and I were safe and we had protected the cats, but we will never know what happened to Matt and his hand.

100 kittens and a puppy

I had decided that for my wedding favors I was going to give everyone their own tiny kitten in a bag, so I went to the pound and rescued 100 kittens and brought them home.  I knew that I was going to package them in little gift bags, so I put them all in their bags, put the bags in crates, and drove them home to my childhood house in Ottumwa to leave them in the study (which growing up I called the Barbie room, because that's where my Barbies lived).  I left to run some errands and it occurred to me that there wasn't enough room in the Barbie room for all those kittens, so I moved half of them into the screened in porch, feeling much better about my treatment of my crated, bagged kittens.

Then the vet called, reminding me that I needed food and litter for all of the kittens, and that I was going to have to pay to get all of them vaccinated before I gave them away.  Crap!  I hadn't thought of any of these things, and suddenly the kittens were costing me thousands of dollars.  So I got my supplies, and returned fully equipped to take care of my tribe of kittens.  I decided to bring them all to the porch so as not to mess up the other rooms, so I freed them from their crates and encouraged them to go upstairs.  That's when I realized that the kittens had turned hostile and had formed gangs within their individual crates.  They all started marching around in groups lashing out at each other.  It was then that I noticed that one of my kittens was actually a tiny golden retriever that the pound had given me my mistake.  The poor thing was outnumbered but had banded together to join his crate's gang in the fight.  I realized that my wedding was probably ruined, so I ran outside crying and left the kittens (and puppy) to work it out among themselves.

The Carnival (and Matt's a jerk)

Matt and I went to the presidential inauguration and when we got there, I realized there was another girl with us that I'd never seen before.  Matt told me that I was still his fiance, but this girl was his inauguration date so he would be talking to me as little as possible.  The girl went to take a shower in a nearby portapotty because we had been traveling a great distance.  While she was gone, I tried to get Matt to ditch her but he wouldn't do it.  I sat down and pouted, and when the Queen walked by I didn't realize I was supposed to stand up so she stopped the procession and glared at me.  Once she got to the stage and started speaking, the person next to me's cellphone started ringing loudly.  The Queen got very upset and stopped her speech midway through.

Matt was embarrassed so he left and went to the adjacent carnival.  I stayed to hear a little of the trivia game they were playing at inauguration, but then I chased after him and couldn't find him, but I ran into a random guy I knew.  He said that Matt had been building a really cool kite but he wouldn't show it to anyone.  I finally saw Matt carrying around a giant kite made out of Belgium waffles, but when I asked to see it he ran off.  I realized I was standing next to a crepe vendor, so I bought myself a cheese crepe.  Then I saw my friends Brian and Nicole in a field.  Brian was also making a kite, and Nicole wanted to play a spinning game with me.  She started to spin me as fast as she could and then flung me into a carnival stand.  I was embarrassed and in pain, so I decided to go get another crepe.  Just then, Matt showed up and yelled at me for eating two crepes.

I was mad, so I mad him go to the circus exhibit with me and our friend Lindsey.  We took our seats and then realized there was no circus, it was just a video tape of a circus.  Matt snuck off into the midway without me realizing it, and then I noticed Lindsey leaving too, so I ran into the midway, tackled them both, and woke up.

Fragments

This isn't technically a full dream but was too funny not to share.  When I wake up and remember a really long dream, I need a way to keep it pieced together so that I still remember it when I have time to write it all down.  Sometimes I call and leave myself voicemails, other times I write little notes about various parts of the dream.


I was just cleaning out my email drafts and found this little treasure that I never went back and completely logged.  This was from almost a year ago, so I definitely don't remember the dream, but it was so random that I had to share.  Please note - this was all one dream.


Took a trip to San Fran - ate at the My Way Cafe (this does not exist in real life)
Broken shoe
Katie McDonald's white dresses
Went to a Torch Run meeting
Matt playing outdoor basketball
Matt lost his son
Ran a 5k trying to find him
Went home and had new paint on house
Played bocce with Kati
Textile building
Crazy cat lady
Overnight party at Dan's house
Corey ate a lot of twizzlers
Flying Mango road trip
Drove a PT cruiser 


I have absolutely no idea what any of that means, but I really wish I remembered the rest!

The parking ticket

I was sitting in Matt's garage talking to Louie (my cat) about how it was time for him to go to sleep when I realized that Louie usually sleeps in the basement.  I went to the basement to see why he wasn't there and I discovered that Autumn (my other cat) had made friends with another impostor cat who was posing as Louie and had kicked Louie out of the house and into the garage.  I felt bad for Louie but I knew Matt wasn't going to let me have a third cat so I wrapped Louie in a blanket and snuck him downstairs with Autumn and Impostor Cat.

When I left Matt's house, I was pulled over for speeding and the officer that pulled me over found out that I had an unpaid parking ticket for $1376.  He told me that he would have to leave my car on the side of the road and take me immediately to jail.  I got to jail and checked in at the front desk where they took my duffel bag and showed me to my room.  I was a little upset because there was no TV, but they told me that I could watch TV in the community room during social hours, and they let me bring my Nook and my Droid.  I asked them how I was supposed to go shopping and they told me I could reserve a shuttle to the mall on my Droid and it would take me there whenever I wanted.

I got to the mall and realized that they hadn't offered me my one phone call, nor had they given me a chance to post bail.  I called my dad on my cell phone and asked him for $11,000 for bail, but he told me I would have to choose between bail or my wedding.  I was not happy, but I decided to get back on the shuttle and go back to jail.  I sat down on the ratty plaid sofa in the community room and started to watch soccer on tv when there was a knock on the door.  The jail manager told me that my dad was coming to pick me up, but that I had to leave all my Nike flip flops behind as a penalty.  So I said farewell to my flip flops and went outside to wait for my dad.