The longest dream ever

I was hanging out with my aunt and uncle and I went out to run some errands.  I decided to walk past the boat store and impulsively decided to buy a speed boat.  I proudly drove the boat home through the local canals and when I pulled up at my dad's house, my uncle informed me that I didn't know how to drive a boat or tie it up at the dock.  I kind of panicked, but decided I would just drive it back to the boat store and have them teach me.  Luckily, I found a water conveyor belt that would guide me back to the boat store. 

Once I got there, three elderly women in ball gowns helped me tie my boat up to the dock, and a large British man explained how to drive the boat.  Feeling confident, I untied my boat and headed home.  Suddenly I realized that Matt was going to be very angry that I bought this boat, and I probably shouldn't be making such large purchases without telling him.  And then I remembered that last week I had bought a jet ski at a garage sale and I still hadn't told him.  We have nowhere to store either of these purchases, so I decided that I would just have to keep my house as a nautical storage center after we got married.

I went home to the house that I shared with my co-worker Anna.  She was busy so I went out to eat at When Pigs Fly, my favorite BBQ place.  I was sitting in the back room when the waiter informed me that my friend David was eating in the other room with his family, and that his wife really needed some plastic baskets that they deliver the sandwiches in.  I took her a stack and she was so happy that she told me to join them for dinner.  David had just gotten a digital camera that instantly projected his pictures onto paper coasters (like they have at bars) so he kept taking pictures of all of us and giving us the coasters.  Finally dinner was over, so I headed home, but David chased me through the parking lot because I forgot my coaster.

When I got home, Anna wanted me to see this great new game that she had discovered.  She told me it was a video game called Cut the Dog, and you had to find the dog smoking a cigarette and grab it out of the dog's mouth.  But if there was no cigarette, you had to cut the dog's hair.  I tried it a few times on her iPod, but then she informed me she was taking it up a notch.  She opened the oven and had a bunch of puppies in there with cigarettes that she would grab out of their mouths.  I thought that was the most disturbing thing I'd ever seen, so I went downstairs.

I entered the living room and found my friend Dan hanging out with Fred Hoiberg.  Fred was getting ready to leave, but he pulled out his backpack and asked us if we would like to buy a Tim Floyd jersey from him for $90 each.  We both wanted one, so I tried to log in to Matt's corporate bank account to pay for them, but I couldn't remember the password.  I called Matt and he refused to give it to me, so I got very angry because Fred was about to leave.  I asked him to wait a moment and I walked outside through the wading pool so I could talk to Matt without Fred hearing me.  I told him how important this was and Matt burst into tears because he couldn't remember the password and he'd been trying to keep anyone from finding out so he didn't get fired.  I was angry because I realized I'd have to pay for the jersey myself, so I hung up and went into my childhood bedroom in Ottumwa.  I hid down there pouting until I heard my co-worker Heather saying goodbye to Fred, so I knew I was running out of time.  Before I went upstairs, I read my horoscope in a magazine which told me to pick two of my friend's spouses to be very mean to today and pick another one to do something nice for.  I was just deciding who would fit into each category when I woke up.

Evergreens

I had been hired by a church to be their sanctuary decorator for weddings, funerals, etc.  My primary responsibilities were to arrange for decorations on the altar and the end of the pews.  We had an event coming during the weekend that was very important to the church, so they informed me that if I didn't do exactly what I wanted, they would not only fire me but I would also never be allowed back into the church.  However, they didn't tell me what the event was or what the people wanted for decorations, so I was on my own.  I decided to use evergreens on the ends of the pews, but I didn't have any way to affix them to the pews, so I was trying to tie them up with string.  They were all crooked and uneven and the event was about to start, so I knew that I had failed.  I left the church and got on my yacht were I was instantly in the middle of the ocean by myself.

*This is really only half of the dream.  I have absolutely no recollection of what happened after I got on the boat.

Baby Chloe

Matt and I had just had a baby name Chloe, and we wanted to show her off so we took her to my church in Ottumwa.  We walked around showing her to people, but then would sit her in a chair while we talked to people and she kept sliding off so I decided I should just hold her.  Then another girl who was in my youth group walked in with an even younger baby boy, trying to steal my thunder.  I walked over to compare babies and mine was very cute while hers was awkward looking and ugly.

Satisfied, we left Ottumwa and headed to my friends Kristi and Nate's house.  I had brought my cats over and while they ran around, I decided to give Chloe a bottle.  My friend Kati was there, and she took the bottle away from Chloe while it was still half full and said she was taking it to Target.  I asked her not to take away the bottle while Chloe was still using it, but she said she needed it so that she could buy the right bottles to have on hand when I visited her house.  I told her that I would bring my own bottles and that I was more concerned about Chloe eating right now than Kati preparing for my next visit, but she didn't want to hear that and she left. 

Chloe was screaming because she was hungry, and I asked Kristi and Nate if they could help me and they said they agreed with Kati that I shouldn't be concerned about feeding my baby.  I decided I needed to go home, so I set Chloe on the chair to chase after my cats and take them home.

The bus depot

I was driving back from camp with my friend Cristan when she became very, very angry at me. I couldn't figure out what I had done so we stopped at the bus depot where we ran into a girl we went to high school with. She told me that I had offended Cristan with my swervy driving and I should probably leave her alone for awhile.

Luckily I looked across the bus depot and my cousin Beth was sitting there in a business suit. I said hello to her and she told me I needed to come with her to the conference call she was about to sit in on. I was a little self conscious because I was under dressed, but I walked into the bus depot's conference room to join the meeting. The room was full of men in suits who were intensely discussing something. One of them stopped the meeting and asked where my padfolio was. I told him that I didn't have one because I didn't know about the meeting. Beth told me that wasn't good enough and asked me to leave immediately.

So I wandered around the depot for awhile, couldn't find Cristan, and returned to my swervy driving.