I was in the basement of my church in Ottumwa right before the wedding and I couldn't find my dad anywhere. Finally someone told me that he had gone to do play by play for the SIU basketball game for Illinois and wouldn't be here. Suddenly he showed up though, and we decided we should start.
We headed to the Marriott and entered this strange open air lobby with lots of windows where a pre-wedding cocktail hour was going on. Our DJ was trying to give people instructions about what to do and where to go, but the mics weren't loud enough and they were very staticy. Somehow we managed to usher people into a ballroom where the ceremony was supposed to take place. The ballroom was divided in half by a really ugly curtain serving as a make shift divider, where the other half of the room was apparently to be used for the reception.
We got everyone seated and I realized that we had forgotten to do a rehearsal of the ceremony, so I was the only one who knew what was going on. I told Matt to head up to the front with his groomsmen. He looked very nervous but did as I instructed. Then my dad started trying to walk me down the aisle, and I informed him that it wasn't time yet because the bridesmaids needed to go first. He walked halfway down the aisle and yelled "Hold on everyone, we need to figure a few things out back here." And so we all had a pow wow in the back, I informed him what was happening, and we started over.
We got to the front of the ballroom and I realized that we had no minister to perform the ceremony so we had to do it ourselves. Matt and I muttered a few things about love and being married, and then Matt told everyone to go eat. We all walked around the curtain and Matt looked at me and asked "Are we even really married after that?" I had no idea so we decided to just start dancing to the DJ's quiet, staticy music for the rest of the night.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Disney world
I was planning a golf outing in Ottumwa for my friends and family, and the night before I realized that I had forgotten to order a lawn chair and a 5 iron. I knew it was too late to get either from the golf course, so I called my friend Brent and asked if he had any. He said that he would deliver both of them in the morning as long as he got to golf for free and I had to golf using only the 5 iron (which was right handed). I agreed, hung up the phone, and immediately started crying to Matt because I was so scared to golf with the 5 iron. Matt convinced me that I should probably skip the golf outing because it would be safer for me.
The next morning, I was just waking up and my friend Mike called and told me that Disney World had built a new second story facility about the Magic Kingdom and he wanted me to go with him to a meeting there. I was really excited and told Matt about it, and he informed me that his department was having a staff retreat there that day, but that I shouldn't talk to him because he would be very busy. Mike and I got to the new Disney World and it was basically a Disney themed flea market...just various booths of vendors selling Disney products everywhere. Then someone told me that if I went upstairs there was a really nice beach. Mike and I walked over there and I found a conference room underneath the stairs. Inside I found Matt and all of his co-workers.
I found my friend John who told me he wanted to play a game with me. He said he was going to flip a coin, and as soon as the coin hit the ground, I had to ask him 100 questions in a row as fast as I could without laughing. I launched into a stream of "How are you? What are you doing? Where did you learn this game? What Disney rides are you going to ride? What color shoes are you wearing?"...you get the idea. Meanwhile John was making funny faces at me and dancing around like a monkey. I eventually started laughing and he told me I lost the game and couldn't talk to him anymore.
I walked over to Matt who was sitting in a corner by himself with his laptop. He looked up and told me I could only talk to him if I had a bottle of shampoo in my backpack for him. I reached in the backpack and realized that I had accidentally brought a bottle of moisturizer instead of shampoo. Matt said that wasn't an acceptable substitute and that I needed to leave.
Then I noticed that my friend Katie, whose husband works with Matt, was also in the room watching Disney movies on DVD in the corner. I asked her if she wanted to go downstairs and ride Splash Mountain with me and she said she would, but she needed to find a portable DVD player to take with us so we could watch Disney movies while we walked around. This idea really upset me so I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall to try and think of a way to ditch Katie and go to Splash Mountain by myself...but then I woke up.
The next morning, I was just waking up and my friend Mike called and told me that Disney World had built a new second story facility about the Magic Kingdom and he wanted me to go with him to a meeting there. I was really excited and told Matt about it, and he informed me that his department was having a staff retreat there that day, but that I shouldn't talk to him because he would be very busy. Mike and I got to the new Disney World and it was basically a Disney themed flea market...just various booths of vendors selling Disney products everywhere. Then someone told me that if I went upstairs there was a really nice beach. Mike and I walked over there and I found a conference room underneath the stairs. Inside I found Matt and all of his co-workers.
I found my friend John who told me he wanted to play a game with me. He said he was going to flip a coin, and as soon as the coin hit the ground, I had to ask him 100 questions in a row as fast as I could without laughing. I launched into a stream of "How are you? What are you doing? Where did you learn this game? What Disney rides are you going to ride? What color shoes are you wearing?"...you get the idea. Meanwhile John was making funny faces at me and dancing around like a monkey. I eventually started laughing and he told me I lost the game and couldn't talk to him anymore.
I walked over to Matt who was sitting in a corner by himself with his laptop. He looked up and told me I could only talk to him if I had a bottle of shampoo in my backpack for him. I reached in the backpack and realized that I had accidentally brought a bottle of moisturizer instead of shampoo. Matt said that wasn't an acceptable substitute and that I needed to leave.
Then I noticed that my friend Katie, whose husband works with Matt, was also in the room watching Disney movies on DVD in the corner. I asked her if she wanted to go downstairs and ride Splash Mountain with me and she said she would, but she needed to find a portable DVD player to take with us so we could watch Disney movies while we walked around. This idea really upset me so I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall to try and think of a way to ditch Katie and go to Splash Mountain by myself...but then I woke up.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Chasing...everything
This is less entertaining than many of my posts, but I am having recurring dreams about my cats getting out and me having to chase them down the street. This has happened in real life a couple of times, but happens in my dreams at least twice a month.
Two nights ago, I dreamed that I left my door open and both cats got out. Autumn was smart enough to realize that it's freezing outside so she stayed in the garage, but Louie took off and was several blocks away before I realized it. So I started chasing him down the icy streets with no coat and no gloves. I chased him to the park across the street and he stopped, looked at me, snickered evilly, and ran back to my house. That punk.
Then last night, I had a dream that I got in an argument with my mom in my house that we lived in growing up, so she ran out the door and ran up the street and I had to go chasing after her too! I couldn't find her and then someone informed me she was trying to catch the bus to go to the triathlon and that if I didn't find her she was going to live in New York. I finally found her several blocks up the street wearing an afro wig and convinced her to get in my car.
Apparently I'm worried about losing something and having to chase after it...
Two nights ago, I dreamed that I left my door open and both cats got out. Autumn was smart enough to realize that it's freezing outside so she stayed in the garage, but Louie took off and was several blocks away before I realized it. So I started chasing him down the icy streets with no coat and no gloves. I chased him to the park across the street and he stopped, looked at me, snickered evilly, and ran back to my house. That punk.
Then last night, I had a dream that I got in an argument with my mom in my house that we lived in growing up, so she ran out the door and ran up the street and I had to go chasing after her too! I couldn't find her and then someone informed me she was trying to catch the bus to go to the triathlon and that if I didn't find her she was going to live in New York. I finally found her several blocks up the street wearing an afro wig and convinced her to get in my car.
Apparently I'm worried about losing something and having to chase after it...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Shauna's wedding
I was in a church for the wedding of my friend Shauna. The wedding started of very regally, with lots of giant poofy dresses, big hair, and a trumpet fanfare. As the ceremony was about to start, Shauna burst into operatic song that went something along the lines of (sung in a shrill soprano) "I'm so happy to be here today, I'd like to thank my mother for taking care of me, I'm so happy my father could walk me down the aisle, thank you all for celebrating with me...and my GROOM! Oh, my groom! How happy I am to be joining my groom!" The ceremony then proceeded normally, until halfway through the wedding when I suddenly stood up and joined the bridal party, and my dad began to give the wedding sermon. He got up and began telling everyone about the day that he first talked to my friend Emily's husband Dan (who doesn't know Shauna at all) about pursuing a career in medicine. He was convinced that Dan should give up his current job and become a doctor, and he wanted to share that message with everyone today. He finished his sermon and everyone burst into applause and gave him a standing ovation.
As the ceremony continued, I noticed my friend Cristan was sneaking out. She was wearing the ugliest feather-covered neon yellow bridesmaid dress I've ever seen, and I remembered that she was in a wedding later that day. The sight of her hideous dress made me burst out laughing and Shauna asked me to leave the ceremony.
I went back to my hotel room to pack up, and my friend Laura came in and mentioned that she thought we should probably buy a hotel room so that we would have it when we go to the Big 12 tournament. This didn't seem very logical to me, but I said I would go along with it as long as we had a certain kind of beds special ordered. Laura got angry because she wanted to order a different kind of beds, so I packed up all of my stuff and took it downstairs to Walmart and left it in the electronics aisle. Laura followed me because I had also taken her belongings with me, and our argument escalated so we went outside to the parking lot to yell at each other. Then my dad showed up to load my bags into the car, and I sprinted back into Walmart, hoping that he wouldn't notice that I had left everything I own in the store. I got back inside and everything was still there just as I left it. I got so excited that I ran through the store dancing and laughing maniacally.
As the ceremony continued, I noticed my friend Cristan was sneaking out. She was wearing the ugliest feather-covered neon yellow bridesmaid dress I've ever seen, and I remembered that she was in a wedding later that day. The sight of her hideous dress made me burst out laughing and Shauna asked me to leave the ceremony.
I went back to my hotel room to pack up, and my friend Laura came in and mentioned that she thought we should probably buy a hotel room so that we would have it when we go to the Big 12 tournament. This didn't seem very logical to me, but I said I would go along with it as long as we had a certain kind of beds special ordered. Laura got angry because she wanted to order a different kind of beds, so I packed up all of my stuff and took it downstairs to Walmart and left it in the electronics aisle. Laura followed me because I had also taken her belongings with me, and our argument escalated so we went outside to the parking lot to yell at each other. Then my dad showed up to load my bags into the car, and I sprinted back into Walmart, hoping that he wouldn't notice that I had left everything I own in the store. I got back inside and everything was still there just as I left it. I got so excited that I ran through the store dancing and laughing maniacally.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Bizzare work trip
I was in the mountains on vacation, and a very fragile elderly woman wanted to show me the house that she was selling in case I was interested. She starts walking with me up this rocky dirt path, and suddenly she starts jumping from rock to rock and informs me that this treacherous hike is the only way to her mansion. I remembered that I needed to go back to the lodge to go to work, so I left her. When I got to the lodge, Anna (my co-worker) informed me that there was a very angry student who needed to talk to me. The student started yelling at me in the lodge and stormed off, and I told Anna that this must have been all her fault and that I was canceling the work trip.
I went to the airport to fly home with my dad and my friend Tara. We were sitting in the terminal waiting for our flight when Tara decided that we needed to take the trolley down a level of the airport to make sure that we got on the right plane. So we got in a car that looks like what you sit in at the Haunted Mansion at Disney World, and it took us downstairs to where the planes are. When we got down there, Tara realized that there was no way to get off of these little cars, and that they keep going in circles until you can convince someone to let you off. We circled a few times and Tara was crying because she was scared, and I was crying because I thought my dad would be worried about us. I finally got a guy to let us off at the gift shop. We ran upstairs where my friend John informed us that we were already in downtown Chicago where our cars were and we needed to sprint through town before we lost the cars.
Waiting for us outside were Matt and my friends Dan and Katie. We ran to the cars and we all piled into one, but then I realized that John's car and Katie's car were both in the parking lot also. John and Katie decided they were going to ride together in John's car and tow Katie's behind them, Tara and I rode in Matt's car, and Dan got out of the car and said he would find alternate transportation, but before he left he needed to ask me something important. I said okay, and he said "I've been wondering if it would be okay if I started calling you Wall-E." I told him that was fine, he breathed a big sigh of relief, and he was gone.
During the drive home, Matt and Tara decided that they needed to do a photo shoot and take pictures of me in different scenarios. Luckily Matt's car had a full living room area in the back seat, so he came up with poses for me and Tara tried to take the pictures. I didn't want anything to do with this though, so I got out of the car and found all of my co-workers back at the lodge.
My boss was trying to calculate how many hours we had each worked in the past week, and she decided that we all should be paid overtime and that we were going to eat cake. She pulled out a caramel cornflakes cake and everyone dug in. Anna had found me and told me she would like to help me finish the photo shoot. I agreed, but Ronnette started yelling at me that I needed to eat cake immediately or I wouldn't get overtime. I grabbed the last piece of cake, and my co-worker Vanessa asked if she could eat the bottom crust. I said no because that was my favorite part, and Vanessa got angry and proceeded to eat my cake off my plate. I ran to the sink to do my dishes and Ronnette told me I shouldn't do dishes because Anna needed me. I turned around and she was lurking in the corner looking impatient. I realized I couldn't avoid the photo shoot so I put down my dish and walked back over to her and then I woke up.
I went to the airport to fly home with my dad and my friend Tara. We were sitting in the terminal waiting for our flight when Tara decided that we needed to take the trolley down a level of the airport to make sure that we got on the right plane. So we got in a car that looks like what you sit in at the Haunted Mansion at Disney World, and it took us downstairs to where the planes are. When we got down there, Tara realized that there was no way to get off of these little cars, and that they keep going in circles until you can convince someone to let you off. We circled a few times and Tara was crying because she was scared, and I was crying because I thought my dad would be worried about us. I finally got a guy to let us off at the gift shop. We ran upstairs where my friend John informed us that we were already in downtown Chicago where our cars were and we needed to sprint through town before we lost the cars.
Waiting for us outside were Matt and my friends Dan and Katie. We ran to the cars and we all piled into one, but then I realized that John's car and Katie's car were both in the parking lot also. John and Katie decided they were going to ride together in John's car and tow Katie's behind them, Tara and I rode in Matt's car, and Dan got out of the car and said he would find alternate transportation, but before he left he needed to ask me something important. I said okay, and he said "I've been wondering if it would be okay if I started calling you Wall-E." I told him that was fine, he breathed a big sigh of relief, and he was gone.
During the drive home, Matt and Tara decided that they needed to do a photo shoot and take pictures of me in different scenarios. Luckily Matt's car had a full living room area in the back seat, so he came up with poses for me and Tara tried to take the pictures. I didn't want anything to do with this though, so I got out of the car and found all of my co-workers back at the lodge.
My boss was trying to calculate how many hours we had each worked in the past week, and she decided that we all should be paid overtime and that we were going to eat cake. She pulled out a caramel cornflakes cake and everyone dug in. Anna had found me and told me she would like to help me finish the photo shoot. I agreed, but Ronnette started yelling at me that I needed to eat cake immediately or I wouldn't get overtime. I grabbed the last piece of cake, and my co-worker Vanessa asked if she could eat the bottom crust. I said no because that was my favorite part, and Vanessa got angry and proceeded to eat my cake off my plate. I ran to the sink to do my dishes and Ronnette told me I shouldn't do dishes because Anna needed me. I turned around and she was lurking in the corner looking impatient. I realized I couldn't avoid the photo shoot so I put down my dish and walked back over to her and then I woke up.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Choir Concert
Matt and I were headed to a giant field to participate in an outdoor choir concert. On the way in, I had to walk past the orchestra who was accompanying us, and they all started to boo and throw things at me because I was singing instead of playing with them. Matt went to sit with the tenors, and I sat across the aisle with the sopranos, next to a girl that I went to elementary school with. Then I decided I needed to visit the water fountain before we started singing, so I walked back out of the field to the water fountain.
When I got there I ran into my friend Dean who I know from working at Special Olympics. He told me he needed my help with something, so he walked me over to a pier behind the field and suddenly a giant cruise ship pulled up going about 200 miles an hour and did a donut in the water. Dean told me that Matt and I would be going on a cruise after the concert ended, but he needed me to get on board quickly before the concert to make sure that everything looked okay on the ship. His eyes were looking sinister, and I suddenly realized that he was going to make me get on the ship and kidnap me. I started to wonder why Matt hadn't come to look for me.
As the boat got closer to shore, Dean got distracted and I was able to sprint back toward the field, where the concert had yet to start. I went to find Matt to figure out why he hadn't realized I was missing, and discovered that he was busy trading Pokemon cards with a guy he went to high school with so he hadn't noticed that I was gone. So I sat down and waited for the concert to start.
When I got there I ran into my friend Dean who I know from working at Special Olympics. He told me he needed my help with something, so he walked me over to a pier behind the field and suddenly a giant cruise ship pulled up going about 200 miles an hour and did a donut in the water. Dean told me that Matt and I would be going on a cruise after the concert ended, but he needed me to get on board quickly before the concert to make sure that everything looked okay on the ship. His eyes were looking sinister, and I suddenly realized that he was going to make me get on the ship and kidnap me. I started to wonder why Matt hadn't come to look for me.
As the boat got closer to shore, Dean got distracted and I was able to sprint back toward the field, where the concert had yet to start. I went to find Matt to figure out why he hadn't realized I was missing, and discovered that he was busy trading Pokemon cards with a guy he went to high school with so he hadn't noticed that I was gone. So I sat down and waited for the concert to start.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Stuck on the Moon
I was in an airport, trying to fly somewhere, when I discovered that people were after me and were staking out the airport so it wasn't safe to get on my plane. I decided to get on a random plane, so I jumped in the cargo hold of the plane and didn't know where it was going. It dropped me off on the moon, where I discovered that 5-6 other people had also been dropped off and there were no return flights so no one knew how to get back to Earth. We didn't know what to do because we had no cell service on the moon so we couldn't call for a return flight.
Suddenly I remembered that several of my facebook friend's statuses had recently said something along the lines of "back from the moon!" so I knew that this had been happening to others but there must be a way back. I figured out that there must be some secret compartment that had a button or something that would summon a return flight, so I started opening drawers in the side of the moon. I came across a drawer that was full of jewelry, but I didn't like any of it because it was all gaudy yellow gold costume jewelry. At the end of the drawer though, there was a ring that was sort of a light green gemstone with a white gold and yellow gold mixed band. It looked like something I might actually wear so I tried it on and I was magically transported back to Earth. I promptly got on facebook to warn others so that no one else would end up trapped on the moon.
Suddenly I remembered that several of my facebook friend's statuses had recently said something along the lines of "back from the moon!" so I knew that this had been happening to others but there must be a way back. I figured out that there must be some secret compartment that had a button or something that would summon a return flight, so I started opening drawers in the side of the moon. I came across a drawer that was full of jewelry, but I didn't like any of it because it was all gaudy yellow gold costume jewelry. At the end of the drawer though, there was a ring that was sort of a light green gemstone with a white gold and yellow gold mixed band. It looked like something I might actually wear so I tried it on and I was magically transported back to Earth. I promptly got on facebook to warn others so that no one else would end up trapped on the moon.
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