The Carnival (and Matt's a jerk)

Matt and I went to the presidential inauguration and when we got there, I realized there was another girl with us that I'd never seen before.  Matt told me that I was still his fiance, but this girl was his inauguration date so he would be talking to me as little as possible.  The girl went to take a shower in a nearby portapotty because we had been traveling a great distance.  While she was gone, I tried to get Matt to ditch her but he wouldn't do it.  I sat down and pouted, and when the Queen walked by I didn't realize I was supposed to stand up so she stopped the procession and glared at me.  Once she got to the stage and started speaking, the person next to me's cellphone started ringing loudly.  The Queen got very upset and stopped her speech midway through.

Matt was embarrassed so he left and went to the adjacent carnival.  I stayed to hear a little of the trivia game they were playing at inauguration, but then I chased after him and couldn't find him, but I ran into a random guy I knew.  He said that Matt had been building a really cool kite but he wouldn't show it to anyone.  I finally saw Matt carrying around a giant kite made out of Belgium waffles, but when I asked to see it he ran off.  I realized I was standing next to a crepe vendor, so I bought myself a cheese crepe.  Then I saw my friends Brian and Nicole in a field.  Brian was also making a kite, and Nicole wanted to play a spinning game with me.  She started to spin me as fast as she could and then flung me into a carnival stand.  I was embarrassed and in pain, so I decided to go get another crepe.  Just then, Matt showed up and yelled at me for eating two crepes.

I was mad, so I mad him go to the circus exhibit with me and our friend Lindsey.  We took our seats and then realized there was no circus, it was just a video tape of a circus.  Matt snuck off into the midway without me realizing it, and then I noticed Lindsey leaving too, so I ran into the midway, tackled them both, and woke up.

Fragments

This isn't technically a full dream but was too funny not to share.  When I wake up and remember a really long dream, I need a way to keep it pieced together so that I still remember it when I have time to write it all down.  Sometimes I call and leave myself voicemails, other times I write little notes about various parts of the dream.


I was just cleaning out my email drafts and found this little treasure that I never went back and completely logged.  This was from almost a year ago, so I definitely don't remember the dream, but it was so random that I had to share.  Please note - this was all one dream.


Took a trip to San Fran - ate at the My Way Cafe (this does not exist in real life)
Broken shoe
Katie McDonald's white dresses
Went to a Torch Run meeting
Matt playing outdoor basketball
Matt lost his son
Ran a 5k trying to find him
Went home and had new paint on house
Played bocce with Kati
Textile building
Crazy cat lady
Overnight party at Dan's house
Corey ate a lot of twizzlers
Flying Mango road trip
Drove a PT cruiser 


I have absolutely no idea what any of that means, but I really wish I remembered the rest!

The parking ticket

I was sitting in Matt's garage talking to Louie (my cat) about how it was time for him to go to sleep when I realized that Louie usually sleeps in the basement.  I went to the basement to see why he wasn't there and I discovered that Autumn (my other cat) had made friends with another impostor cat who was posing as Louie and had kicked Louie out of the house and into the garage.  I felt bad for Louie but I knew Matt wasn't going to let me have a third cat so I wrapped Louie in a blanket and snuck him downstairs with Autumn and Impostor Cat.

When I left Matt's house, I was pulled over for speeding and the officer that pulled me over found out that I had an unpaid parking ticket for $1376.  He told me that he would have to leave my car on the side of the road and take me immediately to jail.  I got to jail and checked in at the front desk where they took my duffel bag and showed me to my room.  I was a little upset because there was no TV, but they told me that I could watch TV in the community room during social hours, and they let me bring my Nook and my Droid.  I asked them how I was supposed to go shopping and they told me I could reserve a shuttle to the mall on my Droid and it would take me there whenever I wanted.

I got to the mall and realized that they hadn't offered me my one phone call, nor had they given me a chance to post bail.  I called my dad on my cell phone and asked him for $11,000 for bail, but he told me I would have to choose between bail or my wedding.  I was not happy, but I decided to get back on the shuttle and go back to jail.  I sat down on the ratty plaid sofa in the community room and started to watch soccer on tv when there was a knock on the door.  The jail manager told me that my dad was coming to pick me up, but that I had to leave all my Nike flip flops behind as a penalty.  So I said farewell to my flip flops and went outside to wait for my dad.

Jamaica

I went on a vacation to Jamaica with my dad, my former coworker David, his wife, and my cats. When we got there we decided to go to the beach, so we all put on our swimsuits and headed out.  I had accidentally brought a lap swimming suit instead of a regular suit and when we got to the beach, David's wife wanted to know why I hadn't brought a cuter swimming suit to wear.  I went back to the room to find something different to wear and when I got there, the maids were going through all of our bags looting our stuff.  I started yelling at the cats for not protecting our stuff, and I shooed the maids out of the room.  Then as I was looking for something else to wear I realized I had only brought two outfits for the trip and a whole bunch of hooded sweatshirts.

Then my phone rang and it was my coworkers Mike and Brent, telling me that they were on their way to Jamaica for a work convention with another coworker, Amy.  It turned out they were staying in the same hotel that we were, and when they got there, Mike had a meeting so Brent and Amy wanted to go to dinner with my dad and I.  When we got there, Brent decided that he wanted us to take him white water rafting the next day, so I told him where to meet us.  Brent and Amy never showed up though, so I took my cats to go find them.  We got in the car and started driving around West Des Moines near the corner of Mills Civic and 50th, but they were nowhere to be found.

The silver boxes

I was in my high school gymnasium with my dad when suddenly I realized that we were surrounded by tiny silver boxes that seemed to have some sort of electrical current running through them.  I knew at that moment that we were in grave danger because the boxes were going to explode, but my dad wouldn't listen to me.  We were the only people in the gym, so I decided I needed to go get reinforcements to talk my dad into leaving the gym.

As I ran down the hall, I had a feeling that the silver boxes were scattered throughout the school and I needed to find Matt to get him out of the building as well.  I went to work and started looking in each of the offices, but I couldn't find him.  Then my office phone rang and it was Matt.  He was trapped in a tower on the other side of the high school and the only way to get to him was to walk over a tightrope that connected the DMU campus to Ottumwa High School. He also told me that the people who had set up the small boxes knew that I was coming after them and they would be trying to deter me from crossing the rope.

I needed to figure out a way to get my dad out of the gym and rescue Matt, but I suddenly because suspicious that my dad was in cahoots with the people who set out the boxes, so I decided to go rescue Matt.  I started to walk over the tightrope with hundreds of people on the ground below me cheering, and then balls started flying through the air at me that I had to dodge and jump over.  I finally made it to Matt, we walked down the stairs, and outside.  I took him to Hilton Coliseum and told him to hide in the tunnel with me because we would be safe from the electric current as long as we stayed there.

Poor puppy

I was at my house with my dad and my childhood dog, Shamrock, on Christmas Day.  Shammie had to go outside, so my dad was going to take her for a walk.  He reached into the closet to get her leash and when he closed the door, we heard a big crack, and Shammie's leg was caught in the door.  Instead of opening it to let her out, my dad picked up the dog and started pulling on her, trying to get her leg out.  I ran over to let her out and we discovered that her leg was completely crushed and she couldn't walk on it.  I started crying, and Shammie went to lay down in the corner.  I was yelling at my dad about being irresponsible when I noticed Shammie running around the house - her leg had magically healed itself!

I decided that we should take her to Matt's house to see how the cats handled having a dog around.  (My logic was that if they were nice to a dog, they would be nice to a baby some day...naturally.)  We got to Matt's and Shammie was very excited to see the cats, but they just hissed at her and ran away.  We started talking to Matt about something, and I realized that I hadn't seen the cats or the dog in quite some time.  I ran all over the house looking for them, and I finally found them in a spare bedroom with the door closed.  When I walked in the room, I saw the cats laying on a blanket snickering at me.  I asked them what was so funny but they wouldn't tell me, they just kept laughing.  Finally I heard a small whimper and realized that they had pinned Shammie under a blanket and then laid down on the edges so that she couldn't get out!  The cats thought this was hilarious but I was angry so I took Shammie back to my house.

Marinara crisis

I woke up one morning and discovered that there were red stains all over my house.  I walked around to investigate and finally figured out that my mom had dumped a bottle of marinara sauce on my cats and then set them loose in my house.  I found her laying on my couch drinking a can of pop so I asked her if she realized she'd just trashed my house and she said "eh, it'll be fine."

Suddenly I realized it was my wedding day and I still hadn't picked up my dress from Schaffers.  As I was driving there to get it, I realized that I had actually never seen the dress, therefore it hadn't been altered.  I tried to figure out how we could scotch tape it so that it fit me, but when I got there it was a completely different dress in the wrong color because there had been an ordering mistake.  They tried to lace up the corset back but it was way too big and looked terrible.  I asked them to find me a different dress in stock and they found my correct dress, but in the wrong color and again several sizes too big.

I wasn't confident that I looked good, so I tried to get in touch with my bridesmaids so they could come look at it, but I couldn't find any of them.  I also couldn't get a hold of Matt, so I called our Best Man, John, and asked him to come take a look at the dress.  He drove all the way to the store only to tell me "I don't know, I guess you look alright."  That was no help whatsoever, so I decided I should probably go to the ceremony location and start setting up chairs.  As I once again tried to get in touch with my bridal party to have them help me, I realized I couldn't remember who all of my bridesmaids were.  I was confident that I had a bridesmaid coming in from out of town, but I couldn't think who that would be.  Suddenly I realized that Shauna had flown in from New York and that no one had gone to the airport to pick her up the day before.  Then I realized that we hadn't had a rehearsal or a dinner the night before either.  All of the sudden it occurred to me that it was only Thursday, so I took my ugly dress and returned to my marinara covered house.